2012년 10월 29일 월요일

Monthly TOEFL Essay #2: (Future Energy and Longer life span)


           Science always have been developing and improving. As time passes by, rate of the development of science became more faster. In this new century there would be massive scientific innovation that ever before. I believe changes that new century bring would be source of the energy, and better medical treatments.



           This new century will be using different energy sources. Fossil fuels are almost used up. At this rate, in 45years there would be no fossil fuels left for us to use. Not only that, usage of fossil fuels creates a lot of problems. Most of environmental problems we are facing are caused due to the over use of fossil fuel. One of the best examples of environmental problem caused by fossil fuel would be global warming. Global warming is serious and global problems. Since fossil fuels are almost worn out, and have a lot of side effects, in this new century we will find different energy sources. The possible ones would be renewable energy such as energies using sun, wind, waves and more on. Those energies would be infinite and way more environmentally friendly. Nuclear fusion or hybrid energy which is highly efficient also can be the upcoming future energy. Since we can not suddenly erase our civilization and live life in the nature, there will be tremendous amounts of demands for energies, and fossil fuels would be replaced with our upcoming future energies.



           Our life style of living would also change tremendously due to the development of medical science. Highly developed medical science would highly raise the average age of human being. And also, we will be able to live disease-free life. Cloning, and stem cells would be developed enough so we can change our organs if we want to. Also almost every diseases would be treated. Due to longer life span of human the cultures and laws would be changed. Since the elderly population grows, services for elders would increase. Entertainments, advertisements, sports, and TV programs targeting elders will grow in term. Moreover, welfare system should go through big changes. Pushing citizens to look after growing population of seniors would be impossible. There should be logical solutions such as giving jobs to elders. Not only development of medical science would be enough to lead to better society. Development of medical science followed by logical changes in society to back up increasing elderly population is required to accommodate the happy society we want.


           There would be many huge changes in this 21st century. Changes in cultures, customs, habits and more on would follow. But the biggest changes will be followed by development in science. Development of science will provide solutions for status quo of scarce fossil fuels. Further more development of medical science would lengthen the life span of human which will cause diverse results in cultures, and societies.

댓글 3개:

  1. I personally think that essay have approached in different perspective which is great! When everybody was writing about the tragic future of the society, approach in science technology was creative, and the contents were also great. Despite of great contents, lack of examples is still quite required. If the essay have contained some specific examples from history or about the research going on in our society, the logic would become more robust. However, still the essay is great, and it made me think that 21st century would be like what you have predicted!

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  2. Good! Both can be easily predicted but still two of the most important tasks that mankind should solve in near future. Though some contents are simple and there are lack of creative views, I think your essay is nice.

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  3. Hi, Jinwoo. Personally, your body paragraphs were great. They were detailed and informative. The points you offered were apporpriate for the points that you wanted to emphasize. However, I think it would be better if you started essay in more creative way. Readers of your essay would be more intrigued when you have more interesting hook. Still, great job.

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